SELF MADE MAN

That’s the bloody problem with shuffle. You really don’t know what’s going to happen next.

I can just about tolerate having my dear wife’s music collection included on my iTunes library even if it does mean that occasionally, Led Zeppelin is followed by Take That or Pink Floyd by Michael Buble.

If I’m on hand, of course, I can skip any song I’d prefer not listening to.

It’s when I’m not on hand that the trouble starts. That’s why I couldn’t wait for December to remove what I considered a blot on my musical landscape.

I was listening to Foreigner’s greatest hits back in June, a few days after seeing the band blow headliners Journey off stage at the Newcastle Arena.

Unfortunately, about 75 minutes into this highly enjoyable musical odyssey, my phone rang and I was distracted for more than half an hour.

When I returned, my computer had continued playing through the “Fs” and was now transmitting Frank Sinatra’s Christmas songs – with the sun shining outside and the temperature hitting 22C.

Now obsessive compulsive disorder comes in many forms. One of my sons has a fit if the volume control on the TV is posted on an odd number.

Well, my particular OCD problem is looking down my iTunes Library and seeing that the last time Ol’ Blue Eyes’ Silent Night was played was on June 8, followed three minutes later by The Christmas Song and then Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.

Agonisingly, it is a problem you are stuck with because you are left with two stark choices, either delete the said tracks or suffer for the next six months or so when at long, long last, you can rectify it.

And so last week, a few hours after the first Christmas card dropped on the doormat, I performed the ceremony, playing Frank Sinatra’s festive crackers, a burden lifted every time June 8 was replaced by December 6 in the Last Played column.

Now, thankfully, there’s a seasonal conformity to my iTunes library. Every Christmas song from the Pogues, to Wham, to Slade to Frank himself, are marked down in the Holiday genre.

And every song in that particular category has a December stamp marked on it. Bliss, peace. OCD happily cured.

Believe me, Silent Night has never sounded so good as it did eight days ago.