image@Newcastle Think Tank, April 29 2014 Close you eyes, imagine no one is looking and act out every rock cliché in the book. Every cheesy clap, every signal to jump, those little kicks and flicks on the guitar – imagine all of them. Feeling embarrassed? You should be.  Last night the Cheshire-based quartet Blitz Kids did all of the above and more – clichéd to the point that the only ones buying it were the small huddles of teenage fans pressed to the front of a near-empty venue, pogoing from start to finish. With Think Tank not even a quarter filled, the crowd probably topped the 60-matk. Just. It wasn’t overly impressive when you consider the band announced that the tour had ‘surpassed all previous expectations’ via their busy social media site. While it is never easy to pull in the crowds when you’re on the road, especially on a Tuesday night, the band’s inability to captivate a crowd will definitely do them no favours when it comes to future shows. The cringeworthy performance from tattooed front man Joe James was just asking for the audience to look away and listen, rather than watch. Despite James’ horrid prancing on stage the band’s sound was spot on – especially the rhythm section that appeared tight-knit throughout. The arrogant, diva like appearance of James gives the impression of a man who lives in a world far removed from the reality in front of him. While the other members of the band looked to be enjoying themselves, he seemed focused on making sure everyone left thinking he was the dog’s bollocks: a lofty ambition which he failed most spectacularly to achieve.

Adam Keys