Welcome to part one of what could well be the weirdest interview we’ll run all year. It features Steel Panther bass player Lexxi Foxxx and if you thought all bass players were stupid then he does little to explode that particular myth.

The spoof hair metal heroes return to the UK for three headline shows this week and we’ll be bringing you the first verdict on their Newcastle date right here.

Until then here’s Lexxi in all his glory and look out for part two tomorrow. rushonrock: People say that behind all the partying you’re a consummate professional. Is that fair comment?

Lexxi Foxxx: We’re all a bit older now and working so hard that it’s more and more difficult to operate on two hours’ sleep and satisfy all the ladies in my life. But I do it. I am used to long nights. Long, long nights.

rushonrock: How difficult is it being Lexxi Foxxx 24/7, 365 days a year?

LF: It’s tough being me, I can’t deny it. I’m living the dream but the dream can be a nightmare. On a typical day I might have to get up before noon and do some pictures with some bitches and then I suddenly remember my body’s a temple and I need to spend some time looking good. Then there’s the shows, the parties and all of those pressures. But it’s what we do.

rushonrock: On a personal level you seem to do way more than the other guys…

LF: There’s a lot of pressure to maintain my standards on and off the stage. I just go with what I have and I know that’s good enough. I have to maintain a perfect 10 and that means getting my hair coloured just right, making sure I get some sleep before the next big party. The other guys can laugh all they want but it’s not easy being me – I need facials, waxes and all that stuff. Satchel can just sit and practice his guitar but it’s not that easy for me.

rushonrock: Do the other Panthers appreciate the effort you put in?

LF: I don’t think the other guys truly understand the work that I put in. I dedicate so much time and effort to this band. It’s all the unseen stuff like maintaining my tan and working with my personal trainer, getting botox, liposuction and all that stuff. I just don’t think I get enough credit but when there’s five hot bitches all wanting a piece of the Foxxx then I suppose it’s all worth it.

rushonrock: How do you look so good all of the time?

LF: I do appreciate how lucky I am looking the way I do. My face is my fortune. How do I look so good? I just find the time to visit my doctor on a regular basis. You know it would be easy for me to wake up with bags under my eyes but you’ll never see that. There’s certain kinds of make-up that can make those shadows just disappear. And I do have to get some sleep but that’s what the day’s for.

rushonrock: There must be a degree of jealousy within the Steel Panther ranks…

LF: You know I’m not sure if the other guys are jealous of the way I look or not. I guess, maybe. Who wouldn’t be? One thing I will say – guitar players do get bitches and so do singers. They can be pretty average looking and still get the bitches because of what they do. Luckily because of the way I look I can be a bit more selective. Michael isn’t that selective but he can do whatever he wants. And he does. Him and Satchel can take all-comers and they often take the slightly heavier bitches. I prefer the skinny ones. Stix? He only likes the fat ones. He gets the most in terms of gross weight.

rushonrock: People – including your own band mates – say bass players are pretty dumb. What do you say to them?

LF: I don’t know what people say about bass players and I don’t care. I make mistakes all the time on stage – sometimes I don’t know what’s in my head but it’s usually not the right notes. But I go and grab my mirror, take a look at what’s there, and suddenly I don’t care about how I play or of I can play. I’m glad playing bass is easy though. That’s how I’m in a band.

rushonrock: Is it true you freak out if you can’t maintain your image on stage?

LF: If I don’t get to see myself every few minutes it does get scary. If you don’t know that you’re looking perfect how can you possibly perform? I’ve come pretty close to some nasty panic attacks just because I haven’t been near my mirror. Take Download last summer. The stage was so small I couldn’t have my table where I wanted it and the mirror was near the drums. I was constantly looking over my shoulder and worrying about a hair out of place or the need for some more eyeshadow.