It was always a gamble. But at the time it seemed like a gamble worth taking.

Adding Rammstein’s new record to this year’s Amazon wishlist was an innocent enough step.

I’d seen it was available on vinyl and didn’t own a copy of Liebe Ist Fur Alle Da on CD so opening it up on Chrsitmas morning would be an absolute joy.

If only someone saw my list and decided to give generously this festive season.

Fortunately – or, as it would turn out, unfortunately – they did.

My dear mother-in-law was quick to click when it came to ordering the German industrial metal troupe’s latest.

And just as quick to call my wife when it arrived ready to be wrapped.

The conversation went something like this:

Mother-in-law: “I hope your husband isn’t going to open his present from your father and I in front of the children this year.”

Mrs Rock: “He usually does.

M-I-L: “He usually doesn’t get a record with a picture of a woman being dismembered on the front cover.

Mrs Rock: “No, only every other year…”

Anyway, the in-laws called today to explain they wouldn’t be able to make it in time for Christmas. Something to do with the M6, an arctic snap and my father-in-law’s respect for Scrooge.

But I know it’s the vinyl.

I know Rammstein have conspired to ruin Christmas in the rock household.

And I now know that ticking off your dream wishlist without a care in the world is tantamount to causing a family rift which could take a generation to heal.

Worst of all I don’t know when I’ll get to see Liebe Ist Fur Alle Da in all its 12 inch glory.

But at least there won’t be any naked women upsetting the children this Christmas – unless the lady across the road forgets to close her curtains again after one Baileys too many…